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You know, it’s strange to me that when I say that all heterosex is rape, women assume I’m talking about *women’s* desires. They think that what I’m saying is that no woman is capable of deciding she’d like to have sex with a man. This is a mistaken interpretation.
What I am saying is, simply, that all men are rapists.
I spoke before about how my grandmother lived with my thief of a cousin a while back. Because he was a thief, through and through, whenever he had his eye on something, my grandmother would either hide it at her daughter’s house or she’d “give” it to him. So that he wouldn’t steal it.
Now, it was always my opinion that regardless of the fact that my grandmother considered herself to have “given” him these items (when she wasn’t ferreting them away at my aunt’s house) my cousin stole those items. You can’t really “give” anything to a thief who intended to take it anyway.
So, in saying that my cousin stole from my grandmother, I’m not saying anything *at all* about her own propensity to give him stuff. I am not saying that my grandmother wasn’t a giving person, or that she never *desired* to give him anything. She probably did. It’s just that none of that outweighs the fact that he would have taken it anyway.
I feel similarly about heterosex. Even if a woman wants it – and I’m sure plenty of women do – it doesn’t outweigh the fact that men would rape her anyway. The men are *rapists*. It’s what they do. “Wanting it” doesn’t change that, though I’m not denying that some women do in fact “want it.”
[…]
"AROOO (via missworld) (via thepatriarchy)
Oh, bullshit. Saying that all men are rapists or that all men would rape is not only insulting and patently untrue, it also excuses the rapist responsibility for their actions. (Ie, “He couldn’t help it! He’s just a man!”)
I expect better from feminists.
(via rachelhills)
Yes, I expect better, too. What a load of bullshit. When you say that all heterosexual sex is rape, we’re not just mad about you discounting a woman’s desires, we’re also mad about the insinuation that men can’t help it, and that all men are evil, and therefore we can’t expect any better from them. We’re mad because some of us love men, and some of us have been raped by different men, and the idea of those two men being compared is a gigantic slap across the face to us. We’re mad because you’re discounting and minimizing actual fucking rape by saying that it is the same thing as our consensual sexual experiences. I’m mad because you’re discounting the times I was raped by saying that it’s the same thing as when I willingly and eagerly fuck my husband.
Not that this quote doesn’t seem to still be saying that women aren’t capable of real desire. Actually, it’s saying precisely that — that women only desire sex with men because we fear what will happen if we don’t. The degree of difference between the two statements is splitting hairs.
Oh, and also — we’re seriously saying that all the time, every day, hell, many times every hour, women are raped and they “WANT IT”? Seriously? This is what passes off as “feminism” now? Saying that women who you’re arguing were raped “do in fact want it”?
Yeah, some of us are actually interested in combating and eventually ending sexual violence rather than reinforcing rape myths, bizarrely as though it’s some kind of intellectual purity. Some of us realize that rape culture is precisely about attempting to blur the line between rape and consensual sex as though it’s too hard to figure out, and therefore don’t run around talking out our asses and doing the work for it.
(via thecurvature) Uh, what Cara said, pretty much. Maybe I’ll add: just because your cousin is a thief doesn’t mean all your cousins are thieves; there are actually men who, if a woman says “no” or “stop” or “ouch” or “hold up” or whatever, will in fact STOP, IMMEDIATELY, like they have just touched a hot stove or something, because the idea of hurting the person they are having sex with or were about to have sex with is deeply abhorrent to them. (via isabelthespy, thepatriarchy)
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Best post
Also, Lily Potter would have never wanted an abortion, because she was a financially well-off white woman starting a family in a happy marriage with a secure place at the top of wizarding society.
The question you should be asking is what if Merope Gaunt, an impoverished and uneducated single woman who escaped from a severely abusive family only to become pregnant with the unwanted child of a man who wanted nothing to do with her, had had access to an abortion and not had immense social pressure brainwashing her into carrying to term?
Perfect commentary is perfect.
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He’s not the only one.
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you know whats worse than tumbears?
redditbears.
On one of the internet’s most popular, and notorious, sites, a new community is bringing together White gay men with
old fashioned tastesinternalized homophobia and a penchant for misogyny.I fixed it.
Thank you :D
Slow the fuck down. This is more of this bullshit knee-jerk “masculine gay men interested in discussing manly stuff amongst themselves” = misogyny and internalized homophobia bullshit.
Uh-uh.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: To say that masculine gay men must have internalized homophobia is itself painfully homophobic; it implies that gay men are naturally more feminine than straight men, and to act otherwise would be to defy one’s true nature. While there is nothing wrong with being a feminine gay man, to assume that one gender expression is natural and the norm is wrong. If you are a gay man and believe this, you are not helping yourself. If you are not a gay man and you believe this, you are a shit ally and you need to stop. It’s not wrong for us to struggle against stereotypes, and one way for us to do that is to have the more masculine ones among us also point out that they exist. By showing that there is variety in our community, we allow ourselves to be seen as not just a cliche but actual humans by the world at large; not just the masculine ones, but all of us by virtue of the fact that now people know that they have to pay some fucking attention to actually know what we’re like before resorting to a tired cliche. “Maybe this guy likes drag and boxing! Maybe this one likes old cars and Cher. Maybe it’s he’s more feminine, maybe he’s more masculine, maybe it’s a mix, LET’S FIND OUT”
By the way, about the misogyny thing - and again, I’ve covered this before so sorry for people who follow me and have to see this again - labeling a lack of feminine traits and a desire to let it be known misogynistic is not only stupid but potentially damaging, because like the homophobia accusation you’re connecting the quality of enjoying stereotypically feminine pursuits with womanhood in and of itself. This is also wrong, as it reinforces gender roles. And nobody should be stuck in a gender role because that sucks ass.
By the way, I actually took a look at this subreddit and tried to find anything devious about it - maybe something condemning feminine gay men in there or something in the official rules and such.
What I found was this:
So uh. The people who run it pretty clearly are fine with having any given set of interests or being on any part of the masculinity-femininity spectrum, they just want to make sure the group stays on topic.
FEMME SHAMING! INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA! MISOGYNY!!!!11!!
(Side note: Is here-lies-andalusia implying that nonwhite gay men can’t be masculine? Because I’ve met plenty of guys down here who fit the “gaybro” mold and like a little time with others like them here and there. Hey, according to Redd’s standards even though I’m pale as fuck the fact that I’m Cuban makes me an oppressed PoC, so that must be embarrassing for them)
This is why Nick is better than all of you.
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All it needed was a little groovy love.
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So good
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About me
"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!"
Female. 20. University Student. Lover of Life. Friend to all.
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God’s Kite (by 皮叔)
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